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Things I learned from taking the Hillary Clinton masterclass:

1.      Getting rid of problems

The most effective way to dispose of a body is a mixture of 2 parts lye to one part lime.  Mix in some coffee grounds and you may just confuse the cadaver dogs.

2.      Business organization

S-Corporations, trusts, and estates are usable, but a nonprofit foundation is truly the easiest and most direct way to launder money.

When you set up scam projects that are sure to fail, choose countries with poorly developed legal systems.  You are much less likely to get sued, and a good lawyer should always win the case.

4.      Dealing with detractors

There are many witness intimidation tactics, including late-night phone threats, following, and email intimidation, but the most effective method has proven to be dead pets left on the desk at work.

5.      Always support other women

It is very important to be pro women.  Women need to be supported and encouraged.  Well, except for those bimbos and whores who sleep with your husband.  They deserve to be crushed.

6.      Records retention

When deleting important email communications that should be preserved, protest that they are merely about yoga lessons and your daughter’s wedding.

7.      Taking responsibility

When you lose the election, blame (sung to the tune of “the 12 Days of Christmas):

  1. Mainstream media
  2. Fox News channel
  3. Private email server
  4. Suburban women’s husbands
  5. Assange and Wikileaks
  6. Crazy Bernie Sanders
  7. The Democrat Committee
  8. Vladimir Putin
  9. The Electoral College
  10. Rampant sexism
  11. FBI Director Comey
  12. And those darn Macedonian troll farms

8.      Getting out of trouble 1

You might think smashing your cell phone with a hammer would get you in trouble, but surprisingly it doesn’t.  The FBI can be very tolerant.

9.      Getting out of trouble 2

Lying to Congress and the FBI can often be profitable and a career builder.  Some of my associates have gotten jobs at CNN and wrote bestsellers. 

10. Ethics and politics

Taking donations from foreign countries while serving as Secretary of State is not only ethical but also highly profitable.

11. Jokes can diffuse tension

If you are confronted by the FBI after wiping your servers clean with BleachBit, a joke like “Wiping?  Like with a cloth?” can ease the tension.

12. It’s not mean spirited, it’s fun

When it’s time to leave the White House, take everything that’s not nailed down and break everything that is.  It’s fun.

13. Plausible deniability

When an improbable number of close associates die under mysterious circumstances, claim coincidence.

Author: deplorabelle